We've decided to homeschool our children. As this is a big decision for us, and not exactly making my life easier, I expect there will be days that I wonder if I really did know what I was getting myself into. This is for my own future reference. I expect to need it. You are welcome to read it, or not.
Of course, being such a major, life-changing decision, there are LOTS of factors involved. And when there's a lot to say, I take the round-about approach and say a lot more than is even necessary. So, if you aren't the insanely curious type, you may not want to read everything I am going to tell you. In which case, you can read . . .
The short version:
We believe in a Heavenly Father who guides and directs us in our lives. This decision has been made prayerfully. We have considered all of the options available to us. We feel very strongly that homeschooling our children is what we are supposed to do. It is right FOR US. RIGHT NOW.
The long version:
I'll start with some background. My parents subscribed to the belief that "School Can Wait" and homeschooled all 7 of their children through kindergarten and first grade. I entered the public school system in second grade, as an 8 year-old. I was shy, and the first school I went to was a disaster. It was because of that school that my parents moved the next year. In my family, education is of the utmost importance, worth sacrificing for. To me, homeschooling isn't weird. It makes sense.
Then why, you may ask, have I not been homeschooling already?
I started slow, with school. None of my kids have gone to preschool. I just don't like them being gone so much when they are so young. (I know I am in the minority with my anti-preschool stance, and I am okay with that.) I have kept my kids home and taught them to read myself.
I debated the homeschool issue back in 2004, when #1 was approaching school age. I researched various homeschooling styles, options, curricula... It was while researching curricula that I discovered the charter school movement. We prayed about what to do. I was afraid of the thought of taking it all on--what if I screwed up? What if they fell behind, academically? Or worse, socially? At the time I also had a preschooler (2) and a little baby (3). I didn't think I could pull off schooling with any regularity. We got into a charter school we liked, and didn't look back for several years.
We've been happy in our charter school, for the most part. I have a few bones to pick with them, but it's nothing worse than you'd find at any other school. In fact, we've firmly held that it's better. We've committed to a longer commute, to and from school. Longer school days. More homework. Required volunteer time and annual donations. School uniforms.
Last year, I started second guessing the charter school. My kids are gone way too much. Couple that with my husband's career demanding much more time than it used to, and his church calling being rather time-intensive, and you have a family that struggles to find time together. We get the evenings, with the "Do your homework!" "Why aren't you in the shower?" "Have you done your chores yet?" and "You're late to bed, again!" It feels like we are always negative. Always nagging. So I started researching again. I looked into my options. Sticking with the charter school, switching to the local school or homeschooling. At the time I had a little baby (4) and was pregnant (with 5). We prayed and determined that we should stick with the charter school. But even at the time, I wasn't sure how permanent the decision was.
And, now, I will try to catch you up to the present.
I have been down about my parenting skills (nagging Mom, you know). I want my kids to have time to play, but also learn the importance of contributing around the house with chores and completing their homework on time. And I want them to have time with US, when we aren't on their cases about something or other.
I heard about a book, "Kids Are Worth It!" and I checked it out from the library. As I was reading it, I felt that a lot of the advice rang true. I don't like bribing and buying my kids' obedience with money or stickers or treats. I want them to have integrity, a desire to do what's right simply because it is right, and not because they'll be getting something out of it. (Right now, we have a bad case of the "what's in it for me's" around here.)
As I was reading the book, and thinking, "I want to do this!," I realized I wouldn't be very effective. I get my kids for maybe an hour or two each evening (when they aren't doing homework, Taekwondo, scouts, activity days, etc). How could I, in that time, break them of the need for their tickets (in #1's class), class dollars (2's class) and gold coins (3's class)? I was frustrated and discouraged. As the parent, I can't actually parent them because I can't get any time with them!
My husband was out of town at the time, and we talked about it over the phone. He made a comment about how maybe we should homeschool them.
It was like a light went on in my head.
I could teach them what they are learning in school AND give them time to play AND do their chores AND not pay them off for it.
Once the bug bit, it was all I could think about. I have been eating, sleeping and breathing homeschool.
It still scares me. But we've been praying for a way to help our kids. To help them recognize their worth (which doesn't come across as well when it's all nagging they get from me). To give them responsibilities they can achieve and still leave them time to be kids. To build bonds within our family, and reinforce good habits.
As I was praying about what to do, situations arose that, I feel, pointed me toward teaching them at home.
2 played with 5 all during scriptures one evening. 5 was giggling and enjoying his brother. But we were late, and I had to cut it short. 2 prayed that 5 would be cheerful again the next day, so he could play with him. They don't really play together because they don't really see each other.
3 tells me that he is so glad he's in kindergarten, so he can still spend the mornings playing with 4 and being with me. He misses us when he's at school. But he also doesn't like it when #1 and 2 are always gone.
#1 came home from school one day with a horrible headache. "It was super science day at school, so we watched a lot of movies and that always gives me a headache." (Super Science Day is movies?!?!?!?! That's one of the bones I have to pick with schools--if you have to take my kids away from me all day, at least do something productive!)
2 brought home a story he'd written in school. As I was reading it, it made me smile. Until I got to the last page, where the potty humor kicked in. It was crass and inappropriate. And he got full credit on it--there wasn't even a note calling him out on it! When I asked him to tell me about it, he was clearly embarrassed. He knows he's not supposed to talk that way, but he does it because the other boys do.
For me, this decision is more about time than anything else. Time to be together, to enjoy each other, to learn the lessons that are important to our family.
Education is of the utmost importance, and I will be sure that they are well-educated.
We have fabulous kids in the neighborhood and lots of opportunities for extra-curricular activities to keep them "socialized." (This is honestly our biggest concern. So, you neighbors of mine, I am counting on you to send your kids over to play with mine!)
Now that I've actually made this decision, to teach my children at home, I almost feel like I've been unconsciously building up to it all along. We own several thousand books (that book buying addiction is actually going to pay off!), hundreds of which are nonfiction and education based (yes, I do buy those "curriculum helps" types of books, even though I never see my kids or have time to create "math centers" for them). I find myself giddily planning the best location in our home for the "school room" and "where can I fit a white board?" (And, can I justify buying myself a laminator? I have always been nerdily excited about school supplies!)
There are parts of me that worry that I can't pull this off. That I am biting off more than I can chew. That I will get burned out and fail them. But there are parts of me that feel that way about everything at some point or another. There isn't a single part of being a Mom that is always easy. And if this is what the Lord wants me to do, to help my children be the best that they can be, I am going to drop everything else and do it.
Because, ultimately, they are my life. And if I fail them, I will never be happy.
I am so blessed.
I have such an amazing husband. He's so supportive, and so eager and willing to help me do this. We will both have to sacrifice to make this work--time, money, the fun things the money could've bought . . . But he's a great Dad who loves his kids and wants what's best for them more than he wants a new bike (which is a WHOLE LOT, let me tell you!). And, he works hard. So hard. We are so fortunate that he's been blessed with a job that can financially support our family and allow me to be home with our children. (And buying books!!! :) )
I know this will probably raise a few eyebrows. And, I won't lie to you, I don't want people thinking I am weird. I don't like to stand out. I want to fit in and be normal and mostly not even noticed. But, more than that, I want to be the best Mom I can be for the children the Lord has entrusted to me.
And, so...
Hi, my name is Libby and I am a homeschooler.
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